Author Archives: rainawritings

I was 19 when I remember first hearing that “you shouldn’t talk to your parents about your marriage issues. That’s a no-no.” I was surprised at the idea. Not talk to your parents? But I tell my mom everything, I thought. Especially the things that are upsetting me. I’m grateful that I learned that lesson several years beforeContinue reading “The “Invisible Fence” and Triangulation: In-Law Relationship Guidelines”

On the Sabbath day whenever possible Latter-day Saints gather to partake of small pieces of bread and sips of water, which are emblems of the sacrament signifying Jesus Christ’s atoning sacrifice for all mankind. It is a reminder of the promises we made to God to always remember Christ and keep His commandments that weContinue reading “The Bread and Water that Unifies”

Natures Can Be Changed I believe in the opportunity for eternal progression given to each individual, and that repentance can change our very natures. That means that the sin-sick, sex-addicted soul can become Godly. The very weaknesses that weigh them down can be cast off. Through proper repentance and spiritual maintenance, they can be wholeContinue reading “Let’s Talk About Sex”

When I was newly married, there was a disagreement that seemed impossible to resolve because we both had deeply rooted core values that we were unwilling to give up. We were trying to resolve an unresolvable problem. Statistically speaking, most marital problems are unresolvable or “perpetual” (Gottman 2015 p.138). That does not mean they haveContinue reading “Strength to Tackle the Unsolvable”

Think of minor annoyances and disagreements between new spouses that are still figuring each other out. Why can forgiving the small things be so hard? At times individuals feel that the unfair situation won’t be corrected until the offense is acknowledged as wrong and worthy of punishment. So they hold on tight to their hurtContinue reading “Forgiveness: “Keep a Place in Your Heart””

A telltale sign of the corruption and destruction of a nation is the all-encompassing poison of pride. Pride can demolish relationships and social structures. It is pride that led to the utter destruction of the Nephite civilization (Moro. 8:27, D&C 38:39). I think of pride as a spiritual illness. Here are just a few ofContinue reading “Introduction to Pride: A Spiritual Illness”

“By small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.” -Alma speaking to his son, Helaman (Alma 37:6)  Relationship expert John Gottman teaches that all couples make “bids” for their spouse’s attention, support, humor, etc. This may be a simple request, a joke, aContinue reading “Small and Simple Turns”

Can you remember the day you met your spouse? What first attracted you to them? What did it feel like to start dating? What qualities did you find admirable in them? Does it seem like they have changed over the years? Finally, what is the thief of admiration? Contempt is the culprit. It is notContinue reading “The Thief of Admiration in Marriage”

In the heat of an argument have you ever just shut down? Perhaps you no longer comprehend the words your partner is saying, your heart may literally hurt, and you do all you can to avoid the situation that caused you such grief. If not, this post might not be relatable, but it will beContinue reading “Emotional Flooding: The Main Cause of Stonewalling”

Nothing can teach profound truths quite like a primary song. Don’t mistake the catchy tune and simple rhymes as child’s play. One song in particular has been immensely relevant in my marriage relationship. The words go like this: “I know you, and you know me. We are as diff’rent as the sun and the sea.Continue reading “Marriage Truths Found in a Primary Song”