Natures Can Be Changed
I believe in the opportunity for eternal progression given to each individual, and that repentance can change our very natures. That means that the sin-sick, sex-addicted soul can become Godly. The very weaknesses that weigh them down can be cast off. Through proper repentance and spiritual maintenance, they can be whole again. Weaknesses can be replaced with strengths as described in Ether 12:27 (Book of Mormon). The spouse of a sin-sick, sex addicted soul will feel great sorrow. They will mourn. That is part of the process. But change and healing are very possible.
Marital Sex Conversations
With that aside, I wish to speak about sexual relationships within marriage. Why is it sometimes a difficult subject to talk about? I am sad to hear of couples who never learned to talk about sex and those who have reached adulthood with childhood questions unanswered. Some prefer to ignore the subject and stay ignorant by choice. But there comes a time to learn about it. Sex between husband and wife is not bad.
Consider this quote from a prophet: “It is the destiny of men and women to join together to make eternal family units. In the context of lawful marriage, the intimacy of sexual relations is right and divinely approved. There is nothing unholy or degrading about sexuality in itself, for by that means men and women join in a process of creation and in an expression of love” (Kimball 1982). Marital sex is ordained of God.
Difficulty May Stem From Childhood
People need to start talking about sex. Parents, talk with your children about it. Children, talk with your parents. Spouses, talk with each other. You may have heard that if you don’t teach your children, the world will. If there is a computer in your home, do you allow your child to spend unsupervised time surfing the web? If your son or daughter has a smartphone, have you talked with them about the criminal offense of child pornography? How early did you explain the sin of masturbation to your daughter or son? Have you ever considered that it wasn’t early enough and they are already struggling with it?
In 2010 the primary general President warned, “The world will teach our children if we do not, and children are capable of learning all the world will teach them at a very young age. What we want them to know five years from now needs to be part of our conversation with them today” (Wixom 2010).
It is my earnest belief that parents have a serious responsibility to discuss appropriate sex with their children. This is relevant to marriages because children who grow up thinking sex is an uncomfortable topic are more likely to have difficulty discussing it with their spouse in the future. If that describes your upbringing, rest assured knowing that if you are alive and breathing, it is not too late. Do what you have to do to get past the uncomfortable feelings of this topic and bring the truth to light. Do what it takes to forgive your parents, caregivers, leaders, and teachers for not teaching you.
Kimball (1982) Intimacy in Marriage; The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball.
Wixom (2010) Stay on the Path. General Conference Address.
Higher Marriage 